Every day I spend my time imagining our future together. I write down the songs we want to play at our wedding and I save photographers in my notes app alongside them and the flowers I want. I love her so much it feels like my heart is being ripped out every time she leaves. I’ve been so so stressed saving money for something I want to buy her by the summer. I’m so sick and tired of her living apart from me. I just don’t understand why she wants to be with me in the first place and says she loves me if I’m not one of her top priorities. I feel like she doesn’t love me, and one day she will love someone enough to want to move near them. Someone you need to be near so bad that your whole body aches thinking about how far they are from you. Someone you love so much you want to build your whole life around the thought they could be a part of it. I don’t want one part of my life untouched by her. Its heartbreaking thinking she doesn’t want the same. I don’t know what to think . I don’t know what’s wrong with me. To me nothing is impossible if you want it bad enough. If you want something enough there is nothing in the way that can’t be overcome for you to have it. All I hear is that IM not worth it. IM not worth trying hard. IM not worth thinking about enough or putting effort into. IM not worth moving towards. IM not worth loving. I’m tired of it I’m tired. I don’t understand why I’m not worth it. I love her so much and I’m not worth it.